Nov 24, 2010
It’s funny how one moment I can be smiling and laughing and in a blink of an eye I’m in tears. Thoughts of Molly drift in and out of my mind a thousand times a day. Sometimes I can feel her presence, (Meg knows what I’m talking about) and her memory brings a smile to my face. But there are instances when I think of Molly – I close my eyes and I can smell her – I see her clearly in my mind….and I begin to cry.
Living with the pain is not difficult…..it’s not torturous….but it’s present. Every single day…I wake up in pain. I have learned to accept it, I submit to the emotion, and I let the pain of her death consume me until the moment passes. Kieran usually interrupts my moment of grieving by jumping on my lap. I quickly brush away the tears and embrace him – hug Kieran tightly – and breathe in his scent. The wave of pain subsides and I relax. Kieran is beautiful. Thank you, Lord.I don’t have bad days. I have moments of sadness and then those moments pass.
I was in Killington, VT this morning and I managed to sneak in a few turns on the hill before getting some work done. I hooked up with some friends and we shared many gondola rides to the top. I had my “Molly” board with me – Series 13 Custom X – and many of the folks that I met on the gondy asked about the board. I gave them my standard answer……”this snowboard represents a non-profit organization that helps families battling cancer….blah blah blah” and a few of the conversations turned to their loved ones that were battling. I have those types of conversations all of the time and I have no problem talking about the Molly Fund. But there are days when it’s difficult for me to talk about Molly without breaking down into tears…..because the pain exists.
Meg and I are learning to live with the pain. It isn’t easy but we will survive. We are surviving….and for this we are thankful. On this Thanksgiving, we are thankful for our friends, our wonderful life, and for the five years that we were able to spend with Molly. I close my eyes and I can smell her, I can smell Kieran. Thank you, Lord…….XXOO Buck
Nov 04, 2010
Here's some video of a paddle out in tribute to surf giant Andy Irons who recently passed away. For those that didn't attend, you can see the paddle out we did for Molly here.